The Threesome Isn't Gonna Happen

So, the endlessly twisting plot finally unravels. The lucky bastard lost his mind and dumped his superhot wavy-haired fiancee for the long-haired, tearful old girlfriend. It came as a bit of surprise, really. I have always thought that he would stick to his superhot fiancee, who would not look too unfamiliar in a dominatrix outfit. Although, I must admit that I harbored a faraway hope that they would ended up in a steamy threesome. The Missus, on the other hand, have always knew that the whole episode would end up this way. The guy is a dick, she said. Now that the girl's fairer that she used to be, he would come back running. She has a keen understanding of the male species psychology, my Missus.

'told you she would make a superhot dominatrix

Now, in case I haven't make myself clear, I was reffering to the months-long Ponds-Whitening-something-or-other ad campaign which began I think some time in October last year. The story goes somewhat like this. The lucky bastard left the long-haired girl (by then her hair is still short) for some unspecified reason. Years went by and suddenly the long-haired girl found out that the lucky bastard had became a celebrity of some sort and was planning to marry his fellow celebrity, the superhot wavy-haired girl. Naturally, the long-haired heroine was devastated and was reduced into brooding endlessly in the flower shop in which she works.

the long-haired girl in brooding mood

Anyway, the producers just had to make up a reason to make the superhot wavy-haired girl unfit for the lucky bastard. They came up with this: the bitchy, yet superhot, girl demanded an engagement ring with a diamond the size of a fist. The poor lucky bastard tried to compensate his microscopic-diamonded engagement ring with a bunch of flowers. Which is a downright bad move, really. Any man in his right mind would know that diamond and flowers do not have substitutive or complementary association. Anyway, of all the flowershops in that big city, guess which one he conveniently stumbled into? Yes, you're a genious.

So, yeah. Apparently he noticed that her hair is longer now and her complexion is waaay fairer. Thanks to Ponds-Whitening-something-or-other. Actually, it didn't say so in the ad. I made the deduction. See, I'm the genious now. Anyway, they apparently exchanged phone numbers and began texting each other, harmlessly at first but flirtatiously later. The texting was rightfully sabotaged by the superhot, wavy-haired, would-make-an-excellent-dominatrix fiancee. Lesson #1: when you're having something even remotely resembling an affair, NEVER leave your cellphone unattended, especially when your significant other is prowling around. The long haired girl regressed back into screw-you-i'm-leaving mood and dragged her luggage to the airport. Hmm, I wonder who is managing the flower shop while she's away.

I thought that was the end. And the lucky bastard would come to his senses and returned to be mercilessly, but pleasantly, whipped by her superhot fiancee. But no. The jackass went after the long-haired ex girlfriend. Actually, it wasn't clear how he managed to find her in such a large airport. This goes for all the romantic comedies I have ever watched. Believe me, finding a person in an airport/football stadium/trainstation/large square is NOT easy, unless the person in question is ten feet tall and is partial to shocking pink headgears. Anyway, apparently they reconciled and now the Missus is badgering me about that split-heart magnetic pendant.