Monday, October 24, 2005

Maju Kena Mundur Kena

I bought and watched Dono, Kasino and Indro's Maju Kena Mundur Kena the other day. I don't know what came over me, I have only my impulsive nature to blame. That and my excessive sentimentality. You see, this movie, which was made sometime in mid 80s, is one of the early movies my parents took me out to see. Yeah, what were they thinking?

Anyway, Maju Kena Mundur Kena offers you exactly what you expect from Warkop DKI movies; a monumental amount of slapstick jokes and legs-and-boobs aplenty. In the first 5 minutes alone, the trio, collectively or individually, manages to bump their heads into various hard objects around 15 times, miraculously without being hospitalized for concussion.

There are also the obligatory allusions to sex and everything that goes with it. Eva Arnaz shows off her curves at every possible occasion. But by god, she has every right to do so. She was drop-dead gorgeous. It's as if she were a beacon radiating signal that persuades all men to abandon all reasons and devote their entire life gawking at her. I simply drooled at the sight of her in a slightly too revealing nightie. The missus gave me a sound smack at the head to bring me back to earth. Eva prances her way through the movie in skimpy pants and tight blouses. And I'm not complaining.

As is the case of their other movies, there is no plot to speak of. Dono, Kasino, and Indro work in the same garage and live in the same boarding house, along with Lidya Kandouw. Enter Eva Arnaz. And that's just about it. The movie is merely a collection of short sketches that almost stand individually.

None the less, these guys were good at it. I cringed at every slip or collision, yet I also found myself smiling. Years of working together had made these guys experts in creating slapstick situation. What I laughed at is not the bumps, but the sheer improbability of it happening in real life. Although their later works are crap, their earlier were nothing less than classics. I especially like the one where they worked in a hotel and the one where they built a soft-drink vending robot (the funniest of them all).

All in all, it was a decent form of entertainment, especially when you manage to switch off your brain as you push 'Play'. Smoking pot while watching is highly recommended. I'd rather watch this than Indonesian sinetrons any day.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Reminiscing Saur Sepuh

How many of your remember Saur Sepuh? Yep. It was a phenomenal radio series in mid 80s I think. In Cilacap the show was aired at 2.30 pm daily and it would took a team of horses to drag me away from the radio.

Basically the story revolved around the adventures of Brama Kumbara, a king who was powerful and wise, a rare combination these days, from a small but respected kingdom of Madangkara. The king had this inclination to journey across his kingdom disguised as commoners, sometimes for months, which was rather strange, now that I think about it, bearing in mind that he had a kingdom to run.

Anyway, he was also a kick-ass warrior with great fighting skill and vast array of magical powers. His most notable power, if I remember correctly, was Ajian Serat Jiwa Tingkat 10, literally meaning the 10th level of Fiber of the Soul strike. The strike, if applied correctly, would reduce anyone foolish enough to be his enemy into a pile of ashes. Pretty handy if you run a crematorium business, eh? His other magical power was Bayu Bajra by which he could summon hurricanes to wreak havoc at the vicinity of his choice. Other skills included the standard requirements of the era’s warriors; fast running, long distance strike, and weight reduction to a point where you could stand on the smallest branch of any tree or effortlessly or leap a few stories high.

While Brama liked to fight bare-handed, his kid-sister Mantili preferred to do her ‘hostile negotiation’ by swords. In the old days she was known as Pedang Setan, the Ghoul Sword, because her sword, when unsheathed, would emit rolling fog of hellishly foul smelling substance. Apparently this was what distracted her enemies. While the poor slobs were busy covering their noses, Mantili conveniently slashed their necks. One time she was challenged by another swordmaster named Pedang Perak, the Silver Sword. The duel took several episodes to finish with Mantili coming on top and claimed ownership of the deceased’s sword. Apparently the silver sword reflected all sorts of light which in turn blinded the wielder’s foes. So from then on, enemy of the good not only had to contend with foul smell but also blinding lights.

Mantili, despite being a protagonist, was described as short-fused and quick to unseath both swords. Especially when she encountered Lasmini, the Swordmistress of Mount Lawu. I can’t quite recall what Lasmini’s special ability is, martially speaking, but she was extremely beautiful and she knew how to use her beauty to get what she wanted. So I guess it is safe to say that her most dangerous weapon was her sexuality, the deadliest weapon in every female’s arsenal. The voluptuous swordmistress either slept with her enemies or enchanted them with her beauty before hacking their heads off. Much to Mantili’s irritation, Lasmini had a major crush on Brama ever since our hero saved her from a pack of sex-crazed bad guys.

I don’t remember much about the antagonists because there were so many of them but there was this guy who mastered Ajian Serat Jiwa before Brama did and beat the shit out of the Madangkara king. Brama would have been dead had it not for the intervention of a giant eagle, much like Gwaihir in Lord of the Rings trilogy, who carried his dying body away. Miraculously, the king survived and years later, after mastering Ajian Serat Jiwa, got himself a rematch and exacted his revenge.

Anyway, for 30 minutes Sunday to Saturday,as was the case of millions devoted to this series, I was invited to roam in this land of fantasy. Although I could only heard the shouts and screams, I could vividly pictured how the mighty warriors taunted each other and slug it out. How the trees were uprooted and men scattered in the howling hurricane when Brama unleashed Bayu Bajra. The clanging of metals would indicate swordfight and my mind instantly drew a picture of Mantili leaping in swirling fog and silvery lights. How sparks flew from the clashing sword.

Man, they don’t make this kind of thing anymore.

Monday, October 10, 2005

The Road Not Taken

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like should I choose to remain a bachelor. Unburdened by marital responsibilities, I would certainly be able to devote my life in pursuit of mundane pleasures, which to my unimaginative and shallow mind would definitely include long hours of PC or console gaming, movie watching, and getting peacefully drunk.

It’s rather disheartening to find out that my interests in life are limited to the meaningless and egocentrical activities I have mentioned above. I have always imagined that a normal human being should always want to help others and better himself in one way or another in the process. You know, like taking master degree, joining a yoga class, volunteering for humanitarian missions, teaching homeless kids, feeding birds, or extracting wisdom from religious teachings. That the sole purpose of life to seek the meaning of life itself. It’s either getting the answer or going insane trying. Well, apparently not MY life.

My immediate attempt at salvation would be dipping really deep into my saving and getting my self a state-of-the-art gamer PC and PS2 console, a respectable 5.1 subwoofer system, and a small fridge.

I would go to Glodok every Friday afternoon to buy enough pirated DVDs to last for the weekend and sporadic occasions on weekdays. In between movies, I could always play Winning Eleven at the console or Diablo, Pharaoh, and Championship Manager at the PC. Or when I get tired of them all, I would simply get my self intoxicated and listen to the likes of Sting or U2. “And you give yourself away…and you give yourself away…I can't live, with or without you.”

I would live for the day. I would have no care for tomorrow. I would enjoy the moment.

Although my social life would be restricted to the people I meet at the office, all in all I think I would have a full life. Female companionship could be virtually obtained over the internet, courtesy of Yahoo Messenger and Friendster. And should ‘that’ need arise, I could always frequent those shady establishments at Mangga Besar my friends always rave about. However, due to the fact that it would cause a considerable dent to my meager budget, the visit should be restricted to once a month.

Actually here is where my seemingly perfect plan shows its major flaw. Despite all the above, I knew that my life would be deprived of human closeness. Devoid of unartificial warm feeling of mutual relationship. I would be alien to shared laughter and genuine intimacy. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been in Saturday mornings when I looked disdainfully at my stack of DVDs I purchased the previous day and wished I had bought a train ticket to Semarang instead. I remember calling my then fiancee and for 10 minutes I basked in the glimmer of past memories and future meetings. Yes, it’s rather sickeningly melancholic, but it’s true.

That is why I took the road I have travelled by. And I’m telling this without a sigh.


Note: I suppose you know that a certain Mr. Frost once wrote a wonderful poem whose title is featured in this post. You do? Good.